Mom's Latest Crazy Talk

I am beginning to be a firm believer in the fact that growing old can make a person more critical (dare I say MEAN) and certainly rude, if comical at the same time. I know volumes have been written about the dynamics of mothers and daughters and mothers and sons etc. but I have my very own special take on this via my own mom, who, since the age of 60 has been telling me “she can say whatever she wants, no matter how rude because she is old.” Well, now she is 87 so that means we have all put up with 27 years of crazy.

Here are a few of her latest - I am typing these quotes in caps since she is hard of hearing and everything is delivered in a shout no matter where we are.

She is having a conversation with me over lunch - ‘WHEN DID YOUR TEETH GET SO CROOKED?

WHY DON’T YOU GET A REAL HAIRSTYLE AND WHY IS YOU HAIR SO THIN? The response to this is simple - I get my terrible hair from HER!

In the massively crowded Denver airport where we are in the waiting area seated next to a family with twin girls - “THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST TWINS I HAVE EVER SEEN AND WORSE YET THERE ARE TWO OF THEM.”

Continuing, before I could wheel her away - “AND THEIR NAMES ARE STUPID TOO.”

About my sister and me as we walked in front of her in Las Vegas “NEITHER ONE OF THOSE TWO GIRLS HAS PRETTY LEGS LIKE MINE.”

About the Food Network of which she is an avid viewer - “WHY DO THEY ALL MAKE SO MUCH FISH CRAP AND MEXICAN CRAP?”

And my favorite of Mom’s crazy talk on the subject of Jennifer Aniston when she was all over the news whining (according to Mom) about Brad Pitt leaving her-“SHE MAKES MY ASS TIRED.”

And there you go, another aspect of my always entertaining MOM.


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